


It Now And Forever Shall Be

by tomurau



Series: Have Mercy On Our Souls [2]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Delusions, Gen, Hallucinations, Mental Institutions, Psychosis, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Schizophrenia, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 07:08:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3641271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomurau/pseuds/tomurau
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Schizophrenia may be an odd thing but gods are odder still, even if they are false.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Now And Forever Shall Be

He was asleep, but then he was awake, and the girl was there and she was smiling with her crooked teeth and then he had his hands around her neck and he was squeezing squeezing squeezing tight and she just kept smiling and he let her fall and he was awake again and in the room with the bed and he was in the bed. 

He got out of the bed as quickly as possible because if you were in the bed you were bad because you were doing what they wanted you to do and they wanted you to forget and become another empty vessel for them to house a god within. 

But he already had a god, and the god was him, and he was the god, and he would not be broken down into an obedient slave. 

He had seen how they gave the others their artificial gods with the little pills and injections and drinks and he did not want that, oh he did not want that. 

He was a god and he knew he was and he would not let them take that away from him and the little girl was there again and smiling and then she was gone and he was on the floor and the people with the coats who harvested gods were there and one of them told him “You have to take your medication, Dr. Reid” while the rest smiled down at him and he knew they were trying to break him and he would not let them win. 

He felt them move his body and their fingers on his skin were cold and their nails were all uniform and short and he was reminded of the woman who held his chin in her cold hands and pierced him with her sharp nails and then he was somewhere else and they were trying to make him take the pills and he screamed. 

And they gave him the injection just like they always did and he struggled just like he always did and they told him to “calm down, Dr. Reid” and he wanted to tell them that wasn't his name but he was gone into the black of unconsciousness. 

He woke up in the room with the bed and he was in the bed and the girl was on his chest and she was pushing the air out of him breath by breath and then she was gone and he got out of the bed and stumbled and the woman with the long dark hair was there and she smiled because she knew, she knew why he was here and she knew that they wanted him and his god to go away and someone else, the person they called Dr. Reid—always Dr. Reid, nothing else—to replace him and pull the strings of this too-physical body. 

The woman with the odd eyes spoke to him again, two of the god-harvesters behind her. She wore one of their coats but he saw in her that she was like him, that her god was not false or evil like the girl's had been, so he trusted her. 

She wanted to know if he still thought he was a god, which was odd because he was a god and he'd told them so over and over again and then she asked if he still saw the girl and he did and then she asked some other questions that he didn't answer because there was a god-harvester behind him and he could hear the swish-swish of the god-harvester's white coat which he knew was stained in the blood of the gods that had been taken and he leaned sharply forward even though the body was heavy and hard to move and he interrupted the woman as she was talking about how he needed to take his medications and he told her that they would never take his god, never, ever, ever, no matter what they did and the god-harvester behind him grabbed him and stuck the sharp needle in him and then he was back in the bed. 

The god-harvesters were more insistent now. One of them told him “We're only trying to help, Dr. Reid” and another said “We just want you to get better, Dr. Reid” and the woman with the dark hair and the cold hands looked down at him while he laid on the floor and she said “Take your medication, Dr. Reid” and maybe she was joking or maybe she wasn't and he couldn't tell and he was scared. 

Then the girl was there and she was dancing around him and singing “Take your medication, Dr. Reid” over and over again and he was so, so tired and he wondered how long he would have to be here with the god-harvesters and the god-shells and the woman with the odd eyes and the cold woman and the girl who was a fake angel, who smiled at him and in her eyes he could see the evil and cruelty within her and she had to be destroyed. 

And he thought to himself that maybe he would die here, maybe his godhood would fizzle out and he would be gone, but he stopped himself from thinking that and there were people in his head and he was curling into himself and crying and shaking and screaming and as the god-harvesters filed into the room and surrounded him he saw the woman and she smiled and touched him with her cold hands and the girl was by her and she was crying and the light made it look like she had a halo.


End file.
